August 28

I called my doctors office the next morning. I wanted to hear what someone with a medical degree had to say. And Lauren was right. He said my HCG level was low, and there was a chance of miscarriage, but if my HCG was still doubling every couple of days, there was nothing to worry about. He asked me to come in again, 48 hours after the first blood draw. Then we would know.

I texted Chase something like, "The show isn't over." I have never had such a hard time portraying my honest feelings. Probably because I wasn't feeling much at all. I got frustrated when I came home from work because Chase was smiling, and talking too positively. I think I said something like, I don't want to hear about your great day. I'm going through hell so keep it to yourself. I have never, ever felt disconnected from Chase. But for the first time, I felt that we weren't on the same page. We were in the same chapter of the book, but not quite as in sync as we have always been. That might have been the most painful part of the whole experience. It's not that he wasn't supportive, I just couldn't figure out what I needed from him. His positive outlook on life and trials is, I really believe, the strongest fiber of our marriage. But that day, I needed him to suffer with me.

That night we went to Chase's parents house to bottle peaches. I do remember not wanting to bring it up, but wanting to talk about it. About halfway through peeling, I started to tell Connie what had happened, and that I had jumped the gun withe a self diagnosed miscarriage. I had the tiniest glimmer of hope, but I wanted it to stay tiny. To keep the roller coaster to a minimum. 

Self Diagnosis

And then, I bled. Maybe TMI, but it was all I could think about that night. It was not two hours after we had told Megan and Jeff that I went to the bathroom and felt a pit in my stomach. I got up several times that night to check, but found nothing. The next morning I thought I was ok, until I found more, and this time it was worse--brighter, wetter, and just more. I called my doctor's office and spoke to a receptionist who told me to wait for a call from a nurse. And I waited. Literally. I got nothing done at work as I starred at my computer screen. When she finally called she asked a bunch of questions and said I should have blood work done "in case you're are having a miscarriage."

I immediately went to IMC, got my blood drawn, and left. A couple hours went by, and no call back. I called and was told the results weren't in yet. I called again two hours later, about 4:30, to catch them before they closed clinic. I learned they close at 4. I frantically, and a little pissed, called the front desk of the hospital and asked for the lab. The lab transfered me to client services. Client services said, "I can read you the numbers, but I cannot interpret them." That's fine. I had done my research. I knew, KNEW, because somewhere out on the web I found, via google, that my hcg levels at 4 weeks and 6 days pregnant should be between 2000 and 5000. "Your quantitative level is 80." Translation--I am having a miscarriage. 

Sharing the News

I had envisioned this moment for a long time. I thought maybe I would plan something thoughtful to tell Chase he was going to be a dad. I thought I would wait a while to tell anyone, even family. But little did I know! It's hard to think about anything else really, once you know. I told Chase immediately (see previous entry). I told my doctor and my insurance company the following day (after two tests, to be sure) so I could schedule appropriate appointments and ask some questions. And Friday, the secret became harder and harder to keep. I know, two whole days. We went up to Ogden for a BBQ with some friends, and went to a movie with Chase's parents after. Chase and Tony had a tee time the next morning so we stayed the night at their house. That night, sitting around chatting, they told us a funny story about a friend who sent a text to Connie to announce their baby baby's due date. So... for lack of patience, about ten minutes later, Chase sent a text to Tony that read "April 30, 2015." Tony didn't look at his phone for a while, but when he finally did, Chase and I were in the hallway. "Chase, what does April 30, 2015 mean?" Chase and I looked at each other not knowing what to say. Chase grabs a bag we brought and hands it to Connie as Tony says, "Are you expecting?!" At that Connie lost all control and shakes as she tries to open the bag. A long time ago I broke down and bought a swaddle blanket for a future babe, and we were going to give it to them as the announcement. Needless to say, that blanket will probably stay at their house for the next 8 ish months!

The next day, I got to pick Avery up from the Salt Lake Airport. She was in a hurry to get to Provo for practice, so I wanted to tell her on the drive to her car. We talked about her trip with the soccer team and she ended with, "I'm happy."
"Do you want to be even happier?" At that she put her hand on my shoulder and said , "No way."
"April 30th!" And she wrapped her arms around me and cried. I love having her as my sister. She just knows.

The next day we went up to Heber to watch Zach race his mountain bike. He had been sick the day before but still road really well! After the race, the Fowlers had to go so Chase and I walked to the car with them. "Lauren, don't let me forget to borrow your carseat tonight. I need to see if it fits in my car... "(She knew we were trying so she didn't really react)..."Because we are going to need one. In April."
"ARE YOU PREGNANT???" Followed by scream, hug for five minutes, and lots of tears. I hope I am a mama just like Lauren.

Unbeknownst to me, Chase had told Sean earlier that morning. "I HAD to tell someone!"

Later in the afternoon, Zach and Mom were done with his race stuff and we were by the car snacking. Mom opened a package of peanut M&Ms and said, "Aren't these the best?" And I said, "That's about how big our baby is," rather casually. My mom turned to me and grabbed my arm and kind of stuttered, "Are...are you... are you pregnant?" Half way through her question I smiled, and she screamed, practically did the splits, threw her hands in the air, wrapped them around me, and did that side to side mom-hug thing that I love. And of course, a dance party in the parking lot followed. Zach pointed to Chase and said, "You're going to have a baby!" So matter of fact, and it sounds so good!

On Monday, I finally saw my dad who had been out of town. After Avery's soccer game Dad was about to leave and I walked with him as he put his arm over my shoulder and said, "Are you stressed?" "No.... I'm pregnant." With that he let out a "Ahhhhhhhhh!" and wrapped his other arm around my head and walked with me kind of in a head lock, for lack of a better description. "Wow, well is that a good thing ooooooor a bad thing?" "Dad! It's a good thing!" "Well congrats! It's number three! Like a hat-trick!" "Now Dad, it's a secret for a while, ok?" "Oh no way, I'm going to post it!" "DAD!"

Tuesday, we were headed to Whitney Green's birthday party, so we had Jeff and Megan over for dinner beforehand. While Chase was blessing the food, I nudged him and then nudged him again, and (understanding what I meant) he said, "And please bless the baby to grow healthy and strong." I peeked my eyes open and Megan was staring right at me smiling. AMEN!!!

Positively

Today. Today I woke up, more promptly than my normal snooze-on-repeat routine. I went to the kitchen, grabbed a styrofoam cup leftover from serving hot chocolate at Chase's 24th birthday, headed to the bathroom, opened a cardboard box from the local Family Dollar, like I had for the three mornings prior, and took the test. A glance at the clock and two minutes worth of teeth brushing. Then, I looked at the cheap pregnancy test, not expecting anything different from the previous few days.

See, Chase and I have been talking about you, my baby, since before we got married (admittedly, before his mission). And since we got married, we have had the "when to start trying" talk several times. We always wanted to have kiddos, and we wanted to be young parents too. A few times, we set a date a few months out for our "let's start trying then" plans. That date would come and go and we didn't pull the goalie. And then we had the discussion again in June. And it was different. July came, and the goalie got benched. Little miss red showed her face, not surprisingly, at the end of the month. We weren't sad quite yet, just trying to be patient. Then in August, I got my hopes up. We did everything right (I think!). And about a week ago I started having pinching pains in my lower abs. Not cramps, but similar. I said to Chase, I really think it's going to happen this time. This feels like I think it should (as if I knew what I was talking about). 

So today, the day before miss red should arrive, on the fourth pregnancy test in one week, I took one glance and nearly tossed it in the trash. And then I did a double take. I knew that faint positives were just that--extremely faint. But THERE WAS A LINE! "Chase! Come look at this!" His tired eyes, blinded by the bathroom lights, squinted. "I don't know what I am looking for." "Do you see a second line?!" We stared and stared. And over the next 90 seconds, a shadow turned into a pink line. I even pulled out a test from the day before (don't judge) to compare. Yep. The first one was totally blank, and the second one had a definite if faint line. I showed Chase the comparison. "Holy cow! There really is a line!" And we both smiled. We did it. 

Relieved, excited, anxious, impatient, and grateful. So unbelievably grateful that we were able to get pregnant so quickly. It was a serious concern of mine, infertility. I broke down in tears as I did my makeup by myself a while later and said a prayer for every couple who has to work so much harder than we had to. 

I am so happy. Completely overcome with joy. 

We will become a family of three on April 30, 2015.

I am 4 weeks along.

Baby Reynolds is the size of a poppyseed ❤️

Isagenix

chloereynolds.isagenix.com
chloecreynolds@gmail.com

So this post is a long time coming. I first tried Isagenix in high school when my mom was using the products. But I hadn't really started using the products effectively until a couple months ago. While I was in San Francisco, I was throwing up, bloated, and tired. I came home from a four day trip six pounds heavier! And we had biked and walked all over the city the whole trip. I felt like garbage! I immediately called my mom and said I needed to place an order of isagenix products and get my health in order. During all of this, I was training for a road bike race and eating generally healthy foods (I thought). But the saying, "You cannot out exercise poor nutrition" was coming true for me. I used to say, "I would rather exercise more and eat whatever I want." That thought could not be further from the truth. Quality nutrition fuels quality exercise, weight loss, and a higher quality of life!

While I was waiting for my order to arrive, I did TONS of research. I am a huge skeptic, and I wanted to ensure that what I was about to put in my body was not only safe and good for me, but that it was the BEST thing for me. The results of my research were all positive! Here is what I learned...

The products produced by isagenix are all organic and chemical free. The protein is harvested from cows in New Zealand, and are protected from pesticides and other harmful agents (they also have kosher, dairy and gluten free, options). Olympians have used Isagenix to be leaner, more fit, and an overall elevated level of health, and of course the drug tests have never been a problem with Isagenix. 

The products are also of the highest quality. The protein is grade 7, the highest grade protein available. Other proteins available at costco, grocery stores, etc. are all grade 3-4. This means that your body can only absorb 30-40% of the protein you ingest (that is why "protein poops" are common with those types of lower quality proteins). The protein in Isagenix products is 90-100% absorbable, so you benefit more from the better nutrition. The ionix supreme, cleanse, and all of the products by Isagenix are of the same highest quality. I found more than one source, independent of isagenix, that have done evaluations of the ingredients in the ionix supreme. Take a look at why this product is irreplaceable--you just can't get this comprehensive nutrition from a fruit and yogurt breakfast!

http://www.livestrong.com/article/29766-ionix-supreme-ingredients

In addition to the high quality of the products, the nutrition and wellness plan that is illustrated by isagenix allows for some of your daily caloric intake to be in the form of liquid nutrition. There is plenty of evidence that shows that intermediate fasting or cleansing, in conjunction with liquid nutrition, prevents disease and weight gain. And I will add that it makes you feel amazing! I have loved not feeling like I have a gut full of food! It is good for your body it have consistent nutrition, but not always in the form of solid foods. Isagenix provides a balance of liquid and solid nutrition while never sacrificing the best of macro and micro nutrients.

http://www.nutritionj.com/content/pdf/1475-2891-11-98.pdf

And there is more! All of the products offered by isagenix have a low glycemic index. This means that your blood sugar stays steady all day, allowing your insulin to also remain steady. This is really important! Insulin is a fat burning inhibitor. When your blood sugar spikes, so does your insulin, and insulin prevents fat cells from burning off. Keep your blood sugar steady and your will burn fat with much more ease! In fact, I like to call it fat release, because the fat really does fall off when proper nutrition is in place. 

From Tuesday morning to Friday night, I lost nine pounds! Six of those pound were bloat, toxins, and junk that I had been accumulating. The other 3 pounds were fat that I have kept off, and I am still losing! When I was a freshman in college I was 21% body fat (and I was a collegiate cross country and track athlete). After 30 days using Isagenix, I was 16.5% body fat! I recently ran Ragnar, and the inflammation in my knees was kept at bay. Anti-inflammatory properties is yet another benefit of proper nutrition in Isagenix. Most importantly, I feel amazing. I don't wake up tired, I never feel bloated, my energy is up all day long, and my workouts are going great! I feel strong, I recover faster, and I am not as sore as I used to be after a hard work out. 

I started using isagenix for all of the reasons listed above. But I have since learned that I can get my products paid for, and make money on top of that, by sharing this amazing product with others. Contact me to get samples, learn more, and try this life changing system for yourself. 

Chloecreynolds@gmail.com
chloereynolds.isagenix.com

Independence Day

Independence Day! I just love July. So many fun things to do everyday! And it comes in with a bang! This year, we started our long weekend with a visit to Grandpa Merrill's house. We just sat and talked for two hours. I don't do that enough. I love the man, and he won't be here forever. We talked about school, jobs, family, health, and dogs. He is a rock, completely immovable. That night we watched "Monument Men" which I of course slept through. 

The next morning, Chase and I went on a lovely bike ride with the Fowlers. We had no agenda for the day, and I LOVED IT. I love being involved and busy, but every once in a while, the lack of schedule is so pleasant. We really like the Legacy bike path because there are no cars and we can easily bring Hudson along in the bike trailer. Chase and I continued on to Kaysville to the parade. I am most definitely not a parade person, but it was actually really fun! We got to see Chase's cute cousins in the parade, one playing the drums (eh hem, leading the drums) and the other running the security (eh hem, being scoped by all eligible bachelors). We then went to aunt Tiff's for a celebratory BBQ, only to have her whisked away to the hospital to save a life. We also got a chance to go by a lovely little house in Bountiful that is for sale. Uncle Henry is helping us get started on the hunt, although it might be another year before we find/afford what we want. I am excited to start the process of looking! 

That night we went up to Snowbird with my family. "The Steak Pit" for dinner (note the hilarious Father of the Bride line) was yum, but we can talk more about that later. The next morning we watched Zach KILL his bike race! This kid is crazy. He raced his first Semi-Pro division. As in, he is getting paid to race! In the money! He has worked so so hard to get really fit and it is paying off! The course was awesome because we got to see him go by twice on each of four laps, six miles each. Zach's start was perfect, and from the get go, he was leading the Semi-Pro division and only a few PROFESSIONAL riders were in front of him! I mean the kid has only been riding for like a year! He tore it up. He had one crash that set him back a few seconds, and then he had to stop at the feeding station and get his handle bars straightened. Then a lap later, he got a flat and had to borrow a CO2 cartridge from another rider (bless him) who happens to work with my dad (yes, a grown ace man). THEN he lost his tire again! As he was going by the last time before the finish, he yelled, "I need CO2 to finish the last hill!" At that, Zach kept moving, and dad and I ran to the car, grabbed a cartridge, and I took off booking it running the end of the course backwards trying to catch him before he reached the last up hill. My knee might never forgive me, but it was really fun trying to find  him and help him out. I ran about a mile and a half before I got to him and he used the cartridge and took off again. As he pulled away he said, "Thank you so much! Way to use your running skills!" It's the little moments for 15 seconds on a bike path, covered in sweat, that bring siblings together. I missed the finish, obviously, but he won! And when I finally did get back to him, he said it really was vital that he get a cartridge. In fact, he was going to get off his bike and would have had to carry it for the last up hill mile with a completely flat tire had I gotten to him any later. He is a stud, and I had fun playing pit crew. I can't wait to see where he is next year. Europe world cup maybe??

And so the rest of the weekend, we all got to relax up at Snowbird. It's nearly as much fun in the summer as it is in the winter! Alpine slide, sky coaster, the tram, the pool, and sun! And it isn't too often that the whole crew gets two whole days together. And when we do, there's nothing better. 

Finally, Chase and I got home early Sunday night and watched The Pianist, a movie my dad gave to my for Christmas. He is a real history buff, especially war time stuff. This movie is not for the weak. It made me feel sick and cry. But the reality of WWII is that people suffered. The kind of suffering that is not even real in my world. Nothing will make you appreciate what you have like imagining life without it. So, happy Independence Day. I am so grateful for my freedom to walk, talk and dress how I want. To work and study and live where I want. To worship how I want and not be discriminated against based on my genetics, my beliefs, or my heritage. I am so grateful for my grandfathers, and all those who have fought and worked and sacrificed to create the world I live in. I pray everyday, though, that my husband and my sons never have to go to war. God bless America. 

Vision

On June 30th, I had the most amazing opportunity to get LASIK, a procedure that can fix eyes. Think about that. Broken eyes that don't hardly work at all are made whole. A few weeks prior (well, years really) I had been seriously considering getting lasik. I shopped around for price, facilities, doctors, and referrals. The best price came with the worst reviews (but are we really bargain shopping for new eyes? No.). And the highest price came with a long drive. The best reviews came with a home town doctor that I wanted to give my business to. I decided to go with Dr. Ballif at the Mt. Ogden Eye Center. At my pre-op appointment, my eye exams taught me more about my eyes. I have huge pupils. Normally scan A is taken with the lights off so pupils will dilate. Well, I had to stare at the light before the scan to make my pupils shrink. Also, I have worse vision than I thought I did. The scans (effortless measurements of the geography of the eye as well as prescription) revealed that I had been under correcting my right eye. My contact strength was 3.75 in my left eye and 5.75 in my right eye, but I should have been 6.25 in my right eye all along. In fact, when they asked me to read the smallest letter I could, I just laughed out loud and said "what letters?" My left eye was 20/400 (I see something at 20 feet away as clearly as if it were 400 feet away) and my right eye was off the charts, meaning I could barely see how many fingers the nurse was holding up when she stood 6 feet away. I also have a type of cataract on the backs of both of my lenses. It is shaped like an X because when my eye was forming in utero, it didn't quite finish up and left an X shaped scar on the backs of both of my eyes. It is more severe in my right eye, hence the worse prescription.

When I arrived at the surgical center, I got a little nostalgic taking off my glasses for the last time. I remember when I was in first grade I got glasses for the first time--literally the first time trees had leaves, clouds had texture, signs had words, etc. My teacher had called home and mentioned that my behavior was not good--I didn't pay attention during board work and I bothered my neighbors. When my mom and dad talked about it that night, my dad put some letters on a paper and taped it to the door. "Chloe, what does that paper say?" And my 5 year old self said, "What paper?" Because I couldn't make out the white paper against the white door. I soon after got my first pair of glasses, only to be made fun of at show and tell. For the next several years, I kept my glasses in my desk so I could slip them on to see instructions, or to read, and then remove them. One terrible time, I lost my glasses on the zip line in Park City. How mortifying to not be able to see for days or longer? I distinctly remember hating walking down the halls in sixth grade because if someone I knew was walking past me, I wouldn't be able to tell who they were, so I wouldn't be able to say hi, so I always looked at my feet when I was alone in the hall. In seventh grade, I begged for contacts, and I got them for Christmas. That night I ripped one trying to take it out of my eye, so I started sleeping in them so that I wouldn't rip them and run out. I got used to wearing them until it hurt (usually close to 60 days) and did that for over ten years. I am not complaining, I am reminiscing. Not being able to see properly was a really hard thing for me for a lot of years.

Prior to surgery, they re-examined my eyes and started the anesthetic drops and gave me a valium. In all honesty, I was not nervous at all, likely because I had resisted watching a lasik procedure on youtube. But hey, the valium sure kept me calm anyway. My mom, Connie and Megan came to watch. After I laid down in the chair, it wasn't 10 minutes before I was walking out of the room. First, Dr. Ballif put a plastic ring on my eye (pressure) used a non-burning, blade free laser to cut my cornea into a flap. Then he swiveled my chair and put me under a laser for about 20 seconds. Then he laid the flap down, and the left eye was up. That's it. I laid down in that chair hardly being able to see where I was putting my feet, and stood up looking a nurse in the eyes. I turned around and looked at my mom who was 15 feet away through a window and said, "I can see you." I have to admit, that was really emotional for me. For the next couple hours I slept through the anesthetic wearing off (thank you loratab) and woke up completely fine. For the next week I dealt a little bit with a cloudy haze, some glare, and halos at night. But it has been a full week now, and I haven't had a problem. Some antibiotic drops, steroid drops and artificial tears have helped with the comfort level. I really am amazed at the whole process. It really is a miracle. I am so grateful that I grew up with glasses and contacts so that I could see. And I am now so grateful that modern medicine is so sophisticated that I have perfectly good eyes. I feel like I have left a handicap behind me. My left eye now sees 20/15 and my right eye sees 20/25. My eyes are now a crystal clear window to my soul.